Re-finding you
Dear Beholder,
Song of Choice: As Days Go By by Paulade
Date: 01/25/2026
Forgive me. It’s been a while since I last wrote to you. Truthfully, a lot has happened since I put the pen to paper (figuratively, of course), and I am sure I will talk about it with you all at some point, but this letter is not for that. This break has brought clarity, assurance, and a new energy.
I am not sure how to introduce this topic, but it has been weighing on me for some time. I think it is so easy for us to be consumed by the things that life burdens us with. Whether those burdens are external or internal, this life has a way of asserting dominance on your time, attention, and focus.
I recently had a conversation with a stranger (now an acquaintance) who had a much greater impact on me than I think they realize. During our encounter, we talked about pursuing dreams even when there is nothing to hold onto, when it all seems impossible. He was talking about taking a leap of faith and spoke life into me to pursue what feels right, not what I think I should be doing. In this conversation, several points were brought up and questions raised:
- Your dreams are your dreams for a reason.
- Are the things you want the desires of your ego? Or desires that a higher power has put on your heart? Or simply the desires of your heart?
- Some things are once-in-a-lifetime opportunities; you may not get them ever again.
On the same day, in the same hour, I had another conversation with a family friend who told me a story of something that happened to her years before. Stay with me, I promise there is a point I am getting at.
She told me that years ago, while shopping, she found the perfect bag. It had everything that she wanted and needed. It was the perfect size. Great color. It would go with everything in her closet. Despite this, she decided not to get it. She left the store. I will never forget the feeling I had when she looked at me and told me she still thinks about it, almost ten years later. She was talking about a bag, but the message was much deeper, and I couldn’t ignore the synchronicity if I tried. Here, there were two people who didn’t really know the things I have been burdened with or the things I have been contemplating. However, they provided me with a lot of guidance.
The story wasn’t simply about a bag. It was about taking a leap. Everything seemed perfect, and it was everything she dreamed of, but her mind told her that she didn’t need it. So, I am asking you, if what you desired came to you tomorrow, perfectly packaged and exactly like you asked, would you be ready for it?
Now, back to the initial conversation:
After I got back home, I started to really break down our conversation. Is what I am asking out of life because I like the sound of it? Is it my ego? Or am I truly so passionate about something that everything else in life will appear moot because it’s not that?
If this is your first time hearing about the ego, this is the short definition. In psychology, the ego is the part of your personality that helps you stay grounded, make wise choices, and manage emotions. A balanced ego typically means you feel confident and in control. Unbalanced? This could mean you are overly self-critical or reactive. The concept comes from Sigmund Freud, who suggested that early childhood experiences and unconscious conflicts shape your current thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. In spirituality, the ego is seen as the survival instinct. It fosters attachment, comparison, and a need for superiority. Is your desire out of a need to prove yourself?
After this, I had to take a good and hard look at myself in the mirror. I asked myself why. Then again. Again. Again. I asked myself so much that I became so confident in my answer that now there’s no argument, there is no rationale. People say this a lot, but you only live this life once, and during my reflections, I couldn’t help but feel sad at the idea of suppressing myself so much that years down the line, “I wish that I had.” Honestly, I do not want that for you either. You deserve to look back on your life and have no regrets.
Life comes at you fast, and time waits for no man. Indulge, and allow yourself to find the carefree version of you again, the version of you not weighed down by the things that you must do, not the things expected of you. Try that thing that you’ve been putting off because of the excuse you have prepared this week. That hobby that you’ve put to the side. Your wellness journey? Making music? Painting? Or maybe even that move. Re-find the things that you love. I know that I am.
Gone are the days of wishing and hoping. The things that love you will find you. The day is here.
With all the love,
Universal Karma
